And while you read this piece of highbrow literature, why don't you put some music in your ears with OUR (and all the bands) gift TO you: a 40+ FREE COMPILATION WITH ALL YOUR FAVORITE BANDS!
Today, we present:
Gifts suggestions for our readers?
Tony LoFi of One Chord Progression/The Recordettes/Cudzoo & The Faggettes - ''This Book Is Full Of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It'' by David Wong. My favorite book this year (it helps to also buy "John Dies At The End", the first David Wong book).
Anna Anabolic of One Chord Progression/Party Lights/The Recordettes - Vinyl, vinyl, vinyl. Wine. Chocolate. Vinyl. Crypt Records t-shirts. Cool coffee table books like “Destroy All Movies” and “Bomp! Saving The World One Record At A Time.” I always try to choose carefully for each person I shop for but if you don’t know the person well but at least know they are a cool person with good taste, these are good places to start. Sappy answer: a framed photo of you and the recipient, but only if you’re sure that person really likes you.
Cudzoo & The Faggettes - A Personal Pan Pizza. I truly believe that with hard work and determination, ANY PIZZA can be a personal pan pizza. And kittens.
Kim Fowley - 'Lord of Garbage' (Kicks Books) - Kim Fowley's new book about Rock n Roll Madness.
Jenny Dee & The Dee-Linquents - A good record player, a night out seeing a great band, or help someone who needs it - there are still a ton of people suffering from the effects of Hurricane Sandy.
Russell Quan (The Mummies) - Stompin Riff Raffs' record or cd.
Bradley Dean of Bradley Dean & The Terminals - Someone else’s records and t-shirts, of course.
Michael Quintain of Bradley Dean & The Terminals/Quitty & The Donts - Skydiving lessons!
Micheal Chandler of The Lost Crusaders - Omaha Beef's Meat-of-the-month Club.
George Tabb of Furious George/Volume & Tone - Oh that's a hard one. The best gifts are those from Volume & Tone. They have great luxury leather guitar straps. Great luxury leather cuffs. Great luxury leather key fobs. Also tote bags, guitar pics, etc. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I realize that if you get a gift that is not from Volume & Tone, it is not really a gift at all. Wait? Is that shameless self-promotion and a conflict of interest? Who cares! Viva Volume & Tone!
Warren Thomas of The Abigails - Jewelry. Hand made stuff. Weird art. Nic-nacs. Stuff on eBay that you wouldn't normally buy, but is awesome. Mix tapes. Gold. Ya know, the heartfelt fun stuff. Our t-shirts are pretty cool though!
Palmyra Delran of Palmyra Delran Band/The Friggs - A pony.
Evan Shore from Muck & The Mires - Money.
King Salami & The Cumberland III - Xmas angel dust.
Bill Florio of Little Seizures - Give the gift of dignity this Christmas.
Alex White of White Mystery - Field Notes graph paper booklets, memory foam mattress, Dennis Rodman basketball jersey.
JB of The Living Kills - My regifted DVD of Love Actually. "The Changing Light at Sandover" by James Merrill (the only 560-page, Pulitzer Prize winning, epic poem ever to be inspired by a Ouija board).
Mr. Lee of Dead Flowers Productions - Sexual favors, rare vinyl, high-end booze, a stylish dinner out.
Greg Cartwright of Reigning Sound - First Dwight Twilley LP Sincerely. Everyone loves this LP. It should cost a dollar.
Dean Rispler of Drug Front Records - Anything from Sky Mall is acceptable.
Seriously, gifts are very relative to whom you're gifting. Everyone's into their own thing. But if I were to buy a gift for someone that I really didn't know so well or you don't know what they're into, you can always buy alcohol. A very nice bottle of wine, champagne, or some sort of nice spirits always works (as long as they drink). Maybe they don't drink? Buy some nice food product or food-related product. For my dad's birthday, I bought him a very nice chef's knife, sharpener and cutting board. He abso-fucking-lutely loves when I make him turkey chili. So part of the gift was to teach him how to make it with his own gear. As far as food-products go, there are plenty of really nice things like imported chorizo from Spain or vacuum sealed cheeses from France and Italy, sealed containers of olives or olive oils from Greece - these can all make really nice presents.
George of Naked Heroes - I recently picked up this interesting nose/ear hair trimmer called the Groom Mate Platinum XL. It's totally mechanical, looks like a bullet, and is all steel. You feel tough when you trim the bush in your ear.
Bobby Hussy of The Hussy - Thee Oh Sees - "Putrifiers II" cuz it's the best record of the year. If not that record than any other new In The Red record would be sufficient I think.
Heather Hussy of The Hussy - Get them a gift certificate to your local record store.
Peter Santa Maria of Jukebox Zeros - The best idea is to give what you can to those less fortunate that yourself.
We've played many a Toys For Tots benefit show over the years and that organization always does a great job making less fortunate kids and their families have a happy holiday.
Also here in Philly, we always make a donation to Philabundance food bank.
Stephane Plante of Kid Sentiment -A bottle of St-Chinian, Winklepicker, a Joe Meek Compilation.
Joe Belock of Three Chord Monte (WFMU) - I hear cars are in this year. I keep seeing those TV commercials with the cars with the giant red bows around them.
Dwight Weeks of Bamboo Kids - Cock rings. If the person freaks out, just say they're napkin rings and have a laugh. If they use them as napkin rings, have a laugh again.
Jim Chandler of Twin Guns - Anything from a small, independent local business.
Andrea Sicco of Twin Guns - Yes, anything independently produced, music included.
Sacha Chernoff of The Recordettes - Make ginger bread cookies in the shapes of all your friends - you can make them holding a guitar or a cat to individualize. I did that several years in a row - may resume the tradition this year...
Rebecca Seung of Get Bent - Alcohol and drugs are always welcome. They might not last as long as that hand made scarf, but they're things that can be shared to make everyone happy, and to me anyways, that's what Christmas should be about. Getting fucked up with your friends and family. Assuming they're not pregnant, children, or lame.
Stephane Courval of Le Chelsea Beat -The novel The Historian by Elizaveta Kostova comes to mind in terms of books. GQ magazine, and I dare admit I do read it. Some very good articles, you wouldn't suspect.
Rob Dyrenforth of 1-800-Band - A Lexus.
Al Huckabee of 1-800-Band - Alexis Korner?
Polly Watson of 1-800-Band - This thing that you point at the night sky and it will identify any star! You point it at a star and it will tell you all about that star, sometimes maybe even more than you want to know.
Jimmi Quinn of Light Bulb Alley - Take your loved ones to a Rock N Roll show, or some other event that supports the local talent. Or take them Rock N Roll Caroling!
Clermont Ferrand of Les Sans-Culottes - Michel Houellbecq's latest roman, "La Carte et Le Terroire" is now available in Anglais. Also, anything with Marion Cotillard in it.
Shouting Thomas of The Torments - Anything on Norton that you can lay yer mitts on. A wonderful double gift - not only dishing out the True Rock & Roll Action to the giftee, but also pumping some much need jack into Billy & Miriam's post Sandy cleanup efforts.
Chris DiPinto of Creem Circus - Wyatt Cenac tickets…shh, don't tell my wife.
Fred Shankar of Sultan Bathery - A Morricone anthology or the Kenneth Anger's DVD box.
Gio of Sultan Bathery - A good bottle of wine..you can't go wrong!
Teo of Sultan Bathery - "Punt e mes" Italian's aperitiv bottle for your booze.
Devon Dunsmoor of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - A Furby! (Nah just kidding) I think it’s most important to give something from the heart that you know the person will enjoy. I hate to give gifts just to give them. Do some research & find out what would mean a lot to the person you are buying for!
Laura Carlucci of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - A Kindle Fire!
John Carlucci of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Anything from the Manic Panic Salon Of Highland Park! Buy something! We need the money.
Kenny Wessel of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Cheez Whiz is a gift that never stops giving.
Rikki Styxx of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - No spice racks!
Seb Paquin of Buddy McNeil & The Magic Mirrors - If it's for me, a new fly-fishing reel. If it's for somebody else, a shizzel will do.
Izi Laterreur of Buddy McNeil & The Magic Mirrors - A Tiki night adventure at the famous kitchy-trashy Coconut Motel in Trois-Rivières, Québec.
Alexis Roberge of Buddy McNeil & The Magic Mirrors - I would've said our pins, but I guess it doesn't count either...does it??? Hyuk hyuk.
Eric Davidson of Livids/New Bomb Turks -A gift certificate from an STD clinic; this; or a Johnnie Ray CD comp.
Maxime Chiasson of Ponctuation - AM/FM/cassette alarm clock.
Jim Diamond - I'll stick with the sausage family.
Betsy of Sugar Stems - Puppies!
Drew of Sugar Stems - Coupons for a deed: like wash dishes , vacuum, or I won't pick my nose today. That should cover the underage readers.
Steph of Sugar Stems - A puppy!
Jon of Sugar Stems - I love getting people records of bands they have never heard of but will totally love, like this year I got Steph one of my favorite records of all time, she hasn't gotten it yet so I can't say what it is.
Michael Lynch of Michael Lynch Band/The Brimstones/Palmyra Delran Band - The 'Candyland' game. Do they still make that? That game is long overdue for a comeback.
Buffi Aguero of Subsonics/Tiger! Tiger! - Anything that doesn't rot or defecate. Or anything that does...depends on the person, I guess.
Clay Reed of Subsonics - Gifts that require the recipient to use their imagination. You know...invisible gifts.
Nicotina of Dear Hearts - What? Gifts for, huh?
Karen of Dear Hearts - The readers of the One Chord Progression website.
Nicotina of Dear Hearts - Oh, like gifts for people? I need to know who, because it’s like, you wouldn’t give the same present to your mom as to your boyfriend, you know? What do people always like regardless of age…let me think.
(Martini shaking noises)
Nicotina of Dear Hearts - I would say a martini set, everybody likes that, right?
Karen of Dear Hearts - Classy. Doesn’t the new Bond drink Heinekin though? Lame.
Nicotina of Dear Hearts - A kazoo. But a nice one, not a cheap one. A nice metal one. And the first album by the Residents, "Meet the Residents". This is stuff everybody likes, you can’t go wrong with that.
Karen of Dear Hearts - Well, if that lady at Ikea hadn’t just ruined it for everyone, my gut reaction is to say that it’s hard to go wrong with a helper monkey — he could flip over 7”s, dust behind the sofa, and stuff like that. Oh well. Other than that, Mickey Baker of Mickey & Sylvia, the super-awesome guitarist responsible for some of the best sounds ever laid down on records by Ike Turner, Ray Charles, and cats like that just died in November. I guess if there’s a boxset of his stuff, that’d be a good way to go. Although, really, he’s dead, so if you find it online you’re not exactly taking food from his mouth. So, your call, cheapskate. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a Facebook post with a smiley emoticon and a link to a torrent. Thanks Internet.
Nicotina of Dear Hearts - Good idea!
Brian Hurd of Daddy Long Legs - Buy a guitar hero fan a real guitar.
Joan Chew of Party Lights - Guitar pedals! (hint, hint!)
Dead Elvis of Dead Elvis & His One Man Grave - One plane ticket to get the hell away from anything to do with this bloody x-mess crap.
Don't forget your FREE compilation!
Cudzoo & The Faggettes, Kim Fowley, Jenny Dee & The Dee-linquents, Bradley Dean & The Terminals, The Lost Crusaders, George Tabb, The Abigails, Palmyra Delran, Muck & The Mires, King Salami & The Cumberland III, Little Seizures, White Mystery, The Living Kills, Reigning Sound, Party Lights, The Recordettes, Drug Front Records, Naked Heroes, The Hussy, Jukebox Zeros, Kid Sentiment, Three Chord Monte, The Bamboo Kids, Twin Guns, Get Bent, Le Chelsea Beat, 1-800-Band, Light Bulb Alley, Les Sans-Culottes, The Torments,Creem Circus, Sultan Bathery, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,Buddy McNeil & The Magic Mirrors, Livids,Ponctuation, Jim Diamond, Sugar Stems, Michael Lynch, Subsonics, Dear Hearts, Daddy Long Legs, Dead Elvis & His One Man Grave