Friday, March 22, 2013

INTERVIEW WITH LEMON COOKIE AND COLONEL CREAM OF RUNNY

Runny: Suckers for seamen.

photo credit: Daniel Garcia


Where are you?

Lemon Cookie: Currently? I'm in midtown at work nursing a vicious hangover.

Colonel Cream: Nude, sunbathing in Bed-Stuy.

What do you find offensive?

Colonel Cream: Anyone who keeps their pants on at a RUNNY show.

What did Drug Front Records have to do to sign you?

Lemon Cookie: You mean besides the Champagne, Caviar, and Cocaine?

Colonel Cream: Wrong question. It should read "what did RUNNY do to get Drug Front Records to sign you"....it involved a blood sacrifice but I am legally prohibited from discussing the matter.

Lemon Cookie: Fine, I'll come clean on that one. I sucked off Dean Rispler. The secret is out and apparently so am I now.

Colonel Cream: I believe in the industry that's known as a 'signing bonus.' 

Where is the nastiest place to play in New York?

Lemon Cookie: We played this trash-covered basement near the Port Authority years ago that had a huge hole in ceiling and you could see the bar above you. I think that might have been the only show I got laid after.

Colonel Cream: Oh bullshit. You never get laid.

Lemon Cookie: Fuck yeah I do, Colonel! Although if it wasn't for the Port Authority, I wouldn't have any sexual experiences to speak of.

What Chris Elliot movie/tv show would be better if Lemon Cookie played his role?

Lemon Cookie: Runny would be better if Chris Elliott played my roll.

Colonel Cream: Cabin Boy, definitely. Mostly because he likes blowing sailors.

Lemon Cookie: I'm a sucker for seamen.


What is the most disgusting thing you ever put in your mouth?

Colonel Cream: Lyrics to any RUNNY song.

Lemon Cookie: Or that last bit of banter.

Dirtiest thing a guy told your drummer?

Colonel Cream: All I will repeat here is...Spanish guys are the best.

How do you like your eggs?

Colonel Cream: Up inside me!

Lemon Cookie: I know from experience that shit is painful. I prefer scrambled, covered in tabasco.

If Runny was in a porn movie, what would be the name and plot of the movie?

Lemon Cookie: It would be called Naked Guy Masturbating & Crying. That would be the plot. No one would ever watch it.

Colonel Cream: Quit your bitching, Cookie. I refuse to get talked into shoving eggs up your ass again.

Lemon Cookie: Sorry sorry. I swear I'll be good.

Colonel Cream: The movie would be called Cabin Bitch and if you can't guess the plot, you're an idiot.

What is the best advice someone gave you?

Colonel Cream: "Have a good time, all the time."

Lemon Cookie: "Don't let Colonel Cream shove eggs in your ass."

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